Many Psychologists have a whole list of reasons why women can become dominant. The list includes such topics as they may have had controlling mothers. They are quite insecure. They hate their weaker role in society, or they look for weaker men in order to have the upper hand due to fear. Awe, fear.
I love stories that are just randomly placed in the Bible. In 1st Kings, we have one about a husband and wife duo. Did you know there is a spirit that many men have that women hate? When a man carries this spirit it can cause their wife to take on a spirit called Jezebel. Why? Because the two work together. The two attract each other unknowingly.
A man named Naboth appears in 1st Kings Chapter 21 out of nowhere. We don’t know anything about him really, only that he owns a vineyard and everyday King Ahab looks out his bedroom window and wants it, covets it, even. Why? He wants to plant a garden of herbs.
“And Ahab spoke unto Naboth saying, give me thy vineyard that I may have it for a garden of herbs, for it is near to my house and I will give thee for it A BETTER vineyard than it, or if it seem good to thee, I will give thee the worth of it in money.” 1 Kings 21:2 KJB.
It doesn’t sound half bad at first, but there was a problem.
Naboth could please the king or he could please HaShem. This happens daily in our lives. Naboth could make a deal and get favor with this earthly King–a better vineyard, and more money, but instead, he said, “The Lord forbid that I should give you the inheritance that was passed down by my ancestors.” 1 Kings 21:3 NLT.
What an insult King Ahab had been to Naboth. Vineyards take years to cultivate. It can take over four years to see the first grape. Nevertheless, after you wait and prune back, you have a vineyard that lasts from generation to generation. Not so with a vegetable garden of herbs. This comes and goes. This dies.
So what happens after this king is turned down? Ahab comes to the palace and lies in bed and he sulks and pouts and he won’t eat. He looks much like a three-year-old that didn’t get their Happy Meal toy. Ahab’s are Passive/ aggressive men that don’t confront the issues.
They ignore their problems with people and their relationships suffer. Then their wife’s end up trying to fix and control things. Remember this woman? “… So Sarai said to Abram, “The Lord has prevented me from having children. Go and sleep with my servant. Perhaps I can have children through her.” And Abram agreed with Sarai’s proposal.” Genesis 16:1-2 NLT.
Ishmael was not the promise. But she wanted to fix things.
This man, Ahab, who had it all and even better, the whole Kingdom, was coveting a humble man named Naboth’s vineyard. Why? Couldn’t he plant a garden on his own land? I mean, he was king. Most people who are spoiled and told no, throw fits. He wants it NOW and he cannot have it. James chapter 4 talks about this, it says, “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight.” 4:1-2.
Ahab, if alive today, could have called himself a Christian in certain circles. He worshipped Jehovah, and also Baal, and Asherah. Does that sound harsh to you? Ahab was not a man of conviction. He allowed other gods into his life and he did not act like a man but a child.
In a prior chapter, Elijah confronts Ahab and the people and says, “Just who is God?” How long will you hesitate between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow him; but if Baal, follow him.” 1 Kings 18:20 NASB.
The people were not convicted. They did not see their sin of idolatry and repent, they said, “WE WILL WAIT AND SEE.”
There is a scripture that says, “The whole head is sick, from the top of the head to the soles of the feet.” This spirit trickles down in families where the father has this spirit, and in religious settings with pastors who have thrown out the Torah and Commandments for an itching ear word of prosperity and ease. They have a form of godliness with much of the worldly pleasures included.
If you confront an Ahab spirit, he will more than likely brush off the warnings and say, “That’s not me.” Just like Ahab did in the next scenario.
“When he (Ahab) saw Elijah, he said to him, “Is that you, you troubler of Israel?” “I have not made trouble for Israel,” Elijah replied. “But you and your father’s family have.” 1 Kings 18:17-18 NIV.
For 3 years it did not rain because of the people’s idolatry due to wicked headship. Wives need husbands who know what their role is and ones who are righteous. Jezebel watched everything in the land dry up and die and thought it was due to Yahweh’s prophets. She didn’t factor in her false prophets and Baal worship bringing a curse on the land. She became a fixer just like Sarai, only she was evil. She thought if she cut off HaShems prophets, it would rain again. She thought if she gave her husband the vineyard, he would quit lying in bed pouting and become the man over the kingdom she needed. She thought that if she removed those who were going against her plans, all would be well.
Here’s what this can sound like today among young women and mothers.
She thought if she had another baby, he would keep a job or love her more. She thought if she looked sexy, thin, and young enough, he would stop cheating on her. She thought if she worked and brought him what he wanted, he would be satisfied or if she went to study and fellowship with believers, he would become holy and stop the verbal abuse, control, and manipulation. He would join her for Shabbat or meetings.
Ahab was not a man of action. He just laid around for three years and did nothing. When most men reach a boiling point from not handling and confronting the things tormenting them, they become aggressive instead of passive. Ahab didn’t repent or fast or seek HaShem (God).
Husbands, men of Yah, hear me out: Jezebel often becomes active when men don’t stand and take the position of leadership of their households in a righteous order. I am not talking about control and power trips either, but righteousness.
Let’s get back to Naboth and the vineyard. Ahab is very SNEAKY.
“What’s the matter?” his wife Jezebel asked him. “What’s made you so upset that you’re not eating?” 1 Kings 21:5 NLT.
Ahab LIES! He says, “Because I said to Naboth the Jezreelite, ‘Sell me your vineyard; or if you prefer, I will give you another vineyard in its place.’ But he said, ‘I will not give you my vineyard.'” 1 Kings 21:6.
But that is not what he said. NABOTH SAID, “The LORD FORBID that I should give you the inheritance that was passed down by my ancestors.” 1 Kings 21:3. He had to obey The Lord Adonai.
His wife Jezebel had Naboth STONED TO DEATH, his sons as well. Why? So that they could not take their inheritance. She calls for a fast, a religious festival, and she has two men lie and accuse innocent Naboth of cursing Yahweh and the King. Two false witnesses are raised up against him. The people stoned him to death, all in the name of God and honor to the king.
I beg you if you are a man, a leader, a father, or husband, search yourself and if you see this spirit at work in you or your spouse, repent. Remove the passiveness and put HIM first. Remove the two false witnesses and replace them with the two righteous witnesses. “Do not think that I came to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I did not come to abolish but to fulfill.” Matthew 5:17 NASB.
Photography by Ândrēw Yīsrâ’Ęl