Leah the Wild Cow


Leah the Wild Cow

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A friend of mine sent me an interesting podcast the other day about Rachel, the wife of Jacob. She was the mother of Joseph and Benjamin. She said, “I keep seeing Rachel everywhere!” When she said it, I thought that’s funny because “I keep seeing Leah.”
Oh, Leah, you break my heart . . .  What can women learn from you and your eyes that cried a million tears?
Our backdrop starts in Genesis where we learn that Jacob, the patriarch later named Israel has just fled from his brother Esau who is looking to kill him. Why is he on the run? Jacob, with the help of his mother, takes the savory game she has cooked and pretends to be the first born (Esau) in order to get the blessing. He’d already stolen his birthright. He deceives both his brother and his father Isaac. Let’s look at that real quick.
” Jacob said to his father, “I am Esau your firstborn; I have done just as you told me; please arise, sit and eat of my game, that your soul may bless me.”
After Isaac blesses Jacob with beautiful words –mighty and true, Esau arrives with his game he has cooked and he tells his father he is there and to please bless him, but Isaac says, “What?” Who did I just bless? Your brother has deceived you.
“When Esau heard the words of his father, he cried with an exceedingly great and bitter cry, and said to his father, “Bless me—me also, O my father!” BLESS ME!
Have you ever had your blessing taken away? Right before your eyes–? By someone close to you? Yes, it’s a horrible feeling, but this story is about Leah. . . Rachel.
Leah was not the wife Jacob wanted— Rachel was the sexy dark-eyed beauty Jacob had his heart set on, but Laban tricks Jacob and gives him Leah- his first born, on his wedding night. Do you see the swap? Jacob the trickster has just been tricked. Jacob who dressed up as Esau has now met the oldest daughter dressed up as the youngest.
Imagine being so in love with a woman you agree to work seven years for her hand in marriage. Seven is the number of completion, but for Jacob, his dowry is now doubled to fourteen. There’s a message there but I’m going a different route. Imagine being Jacob for a moment. Young—handsome—on the run from your brother with his stolen birthright and blessing. Got an image? He runs and kisses Rachel at first sight. Her father agrees to the terms. And then comes the great wedding day. Ah, who is under the veil? Who is hidden from sight and unrecognizable? Again, there is a message there, but I am taking a left turn for a bit. Can you ponder what it was like when Jacob’s fingertips ran down her smooth back and kissed the nape of her neck? He became passionately one with his new bride whispering sweet tender words into her ear, but then woke up as deceived as his brother had been when he said Father don’t you have a blessing for me? BLESS ME—ME ALSO MY FATHER!
In the morning light Jacob arose only to find not Rachel the pretty little ewe lamb but Leah her tender eyed sister. Wild cow. Yes, that’s what Leah’s name means, that and weary, grief, and offense. Sorrow. One old legend explains that Rachel understood that her father had given Jacob her sister first and that she humbly helped her prepare her dress and become his bride knowing that she would be second. That is heartbreaking too.
However, Rashi tells us that there is an old rabbinic tale that explains Leah’s eyes and how they became weak or tender.
“According to this story, Leah was destined to marry Jacob’s older twin brother, Esau. In the Rabbinic mind, the two brothers are polar opposites; Jacob being a God-fearing scholar and Esau being a hunter who also indulges in murder, idolatry, and adultery. But people were saying, “Laban has two daughters and his sister, Rebekah, has two sons. The older daughter (Leah) will marry the older son (Esau), and the younger daughter (Rachel) will marry the younger son (Jacob).”[5] Hearing this, Leah spent most of her time weeping and praying to God to change her destined mate. Thus the Torah describes her eyes as “soft” from weeping. God hearkens to Leah’s tears and prayers and allows her to marry Jacob even before Rachel does.”
There is no greater sadness on the earth than a woman unloved by her lover.  Leah knew he would never love her like he did her sister. He wants her beautiful sister whose name means ewe—a lamb.
Instead of the “Bless me mantra” Leah’s words sound more like this—“Love me” Please love me. I know you have some love left inside your soul to wring out for me. A crumb my lad? Please do not let my fruitful womb go unnoticed! “
Can you hear the weak-eyed Leah crying?
When you go unnoticed for something you are good at it’s a miserable feeling. In the midst of Leah’s sadness, weakness and weariness grows a strong woman whose name is that of a wild ox-strong and mighty.  One day he’ll see what a beautiful woman his wife Leah is and he will ask to be buried with her. Rachel will die in childbirth to Benjamin on the way and she will be buried between Bethel and Ephrat. Rachel weeps for her children, not just the Joseph tribes (Ephrain and Manasseh) but Benjamin and the entire House of Israel and Judah who were taken to Babylon. Can you hear her voice coming from the cave? Crying out for her children to become one? I can. The Father tells her to restrain from weeping that her voice will be heard. WOMEN ARISE!
But I am getting ahead of myself.

“Now the LORD saw that Leah was unloved, and He opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. Leah conceived and bore a son and named him [Reuben, for she said, “Because the LORD has seen my affliction; surely now my husband will love me.”  Then she conceived again and bore a son and said, “Because the LORD has heard that I am unloved, He has therefore given me this son also.” So she named him Simeon. She conceived again and bore a son and said, “Now this time my husband will become attached to me because I have borne him three sons.” Therefore he was named Levi. 35 And she conceived again and bore a son and said, “This time I will praise the LORD.”
Therefore she named him Judah. Then she stopped bearing. “Genesis 29:31-35.
Ah, Judah—The scepter will not depart from you! Jesus Yeshua the lion from the tribe of Judah will be praised. Leah finally reaches the point where she says forget about Jacob, my Father Adonai Elohim loves me! To every broken woman reading this know that He hears you and He loves you more than you can think or imagine. One day Leah and Rachel will be one bride. Unity is what we pray for.
I got pregnant at the age of 17 with my firstborn. We named him William. The name William means a determined protector—a strong helmet and he did become that for me and his brothers.  An old soul. After two years, many rough roads and multiple eviction notices I became pregnant with my second son and I just knew that with two sons and more responsibility, things would be different. Surely he would love me now and provide for his sons— — stop gambling—become grounded. My mother named this second son after both his grandpa’s “Robert,” but not much changed. The name Robert means bright- shining—famed one, and he is bright and filled with light. After seven years of crying and praying I gave up and went out to sow my wild oats, but we ended up back together due to his salvation journey and a new start.  He looked like Jesus and he wanted to go to church—read the bible and pray, but by this time I looked like death and the thing I had cried out for seemed like a curse.  I no longer loved him. My heavenly Father named my third son Samuel (Yahweh hears). Yahweh does hear, however, we don’t always remain faithful or obedient. I prayed for my husband to change but by the time he did I had too.  I went to church with him and tried to renew my vows, both of them. Soon he slipped back into his old habits and I wasn’t perfect either–everything looked like it did before. I stayed seven more years. Divorce breaks childrens hearts. Men and women take it from me, a woman who has made mistakes- raise them up in the ways of the Lord Adonai and His instructions.
After Samuels birth, I asked the doctors to tie—burn—cut and destroy my tubes because I did not want to bring any more life into the earth that would not be cared for. I knew this was not what the Father wanted but I disobeyed. The doctors tried to convince me not to do this because I was so young (23). The day after Samuel was born they took me back for surgery and after it was over the doctors told me they never had a case like mine that was so hard to do. They said you’ll be bruised. We had to really work to get them tied. My entire stomach turned black and blue. How many beautiful sons would He have given me? A troop possibly. My grandmother had 12. If I could go back and talk to my younger self oh the things I would say.
I’d surely try and be more like Leah, Rachel, and more like Ruth the woman I am named after.
Yah does hear and He opens Rachel womb and gives her Joseph. He is doubly FRUITFUL! Doubly BLESSED!
After the birth of Joseph, something happens to Leah that has always bothered me. I honestly can relate to this part of the story in a weary way. I know it has a greater meaning about the order of spiritual things but it still grieves me.
The moment has finally happened—Jacob, the one who was called a deceiver—the one who wrongfully seizes and usurps his way to blessings–Yes, this Jacob has wrestled with an angel of God and received a hip out of socket, a new name (Israel) and is prepared to meet his brother Esau. The one who wished to hunt him down and take his life is headed in his direction. Jacob has fear. Now, something happens that moves me to tears.
Jacob lines up his jewels—his wealth—his possessions—the things he cherishes and he has them in an order of what he deems they are worth. He places the ones he loves the most in the back for protection. Jacob looked up and there was Esau, coming with his four hundred men; so he divided the children among Leah, Rachel, and the two female servants.  He put the female servants and their children in front, Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph in the rear.  He himself went on ahead and bowed down to the ground seven times as he approached his brother.”
As Leah walked with her young sons around her she still knew that her younger sister was treasured above her and the young child Joseph was safely tucked in the back with his mother–the little lamb. I have been there. Perhaps you are a woman whose husband has always placed something ahead of you and I’m not talking about Yahweh. Perhaps it’s his job—the children—money—sports—his ex—his desires. What would a woman like Leah do?
She gave up asking for his full love on the 4th try and said I’ll Praise my Lord Adonai. Her sons were blessings from Abba, my sons are too, and one day they will be mighty on the earth and the Torah of Adonai will be upon their lips and in their hearts. Yes, I am calling things that are not as though they are.

The other day this same friend who was talking about Rachel interpreted a dream for me about a little doe I saw coming through a gate and another about a male deer. She reminded me that the scriptures describe the tribe Naphtali as a deer on their banner. Ah, the handmaidens have given birth too! and their sons are also part of the 12-13. Could I be from the tribe of Naphtali? Oh, what a wondrous thought. Rachel had a handmaiden named Bilhah. According to Abarim publication, her name means timid, foolish.
The adjective בלה (baleh), meaning worn out (Ezekiel 23:43, Joshua 9:4).
The masculine noun בלוא (belo), meaning worn out things, rags. This word occurs three times in the Bible; all three times in Jeremiah 38:11-12.
The feminine noun תבלית (tablit), meaning destruction (Isaiah 10:25 only).” I have been all of those things and more! Jacob’s oldest son sleeps with Bilhah and loses his birthright and the blessing. Bilhah has a colorful background and her words describe someone I used to be. I am so thankful that my Father, My Abba Daddy, way back in that book some of you call old said, “Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.” Isaiah 1:18.
This woman named Bilhah gives birth to Dan the judge and also Naphtali.
“Naphtali is a doe let loose, He gives beautiful words.” Genesis 49:21.
Words are my favorite thing. The Word became flesh and dwelt among us. Each letter was carefully crafted by the FINGER of YAH.
Naphtali also means to wrestle. Jacob wrestled all night with an angel and would not let go until he was blessed. Ah, this reminds me of both women and myself. What are you wrestling with?
My husband came into the room the other night and said he wanted to pray for me. I had been studying for hours about the red heifer and its significance to our Yeshua and this Lamb that was also perfectly slain for you and I. How wonderful that these women, the ewe and heifer gave birth to the twelve.  How magnificent our Bibles are if we would just eat them—savory bites of goodness. My Husband opened his mouth and said, “Father bless my wife and may her words fall like dew. May she hear in her ear all you want to show her about this tabernacle and Yeshua. May her pen be mighty. May she write every beautiful word that you have placed into her heart onto the pages for your glory and may you bless her books and her desire to know all about you.”
Tears.
My wrestling has ended with a blessing.
Can you hear Esau’s words—bless me too father. And he will. Love me too Leah cries and is answered. Rachel weeps for her children and he hears. “Retrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears for your work will be REWARDED.” Jeremiah 31:16.
So to all you weary Leah’s out there wrestling with your younger sister, remember you are a wild ox- strong like the red heifer. To all you Rachel’s out there you are a tender ewe, beautiful and powerful too. And to Bilhah, the one whose name means timid—worn out—rags—useless—you will give birth and your sons too will be mighty. Their words are beautiful. And how can we not mention ZILPAH!  Jacob slept with Leah’s handmaid and had Gad and Asher. According to Abarim publication, “ The name Zilpah comes from the verb זלף (zalaph). Its meaning is to drip, drop, sprinkle, pour.” POUR!
He said that in the last days He would pour out His Spirit- His Holy Ruach HaKodesh on His HANDMAIDENS and He is and I see it and they will start out as a drip—a drop—a sprinkle and then POUR! My Father My Abba Daddy has not forgotten His girls.
We praise you Yahweh for making us ONE. For bringing us together in unity—sweet unity.

 

http://www.abarim-publications.com/Meaning/Zilpah.html#.WIl25YWcFlE

 

 

 

  1. Jump up ^ “What’s in A Name,” Vayetzei (Genesis 28:10-32:3) at aish.com

 

 

Leave the JUNK Behind


Junk

Have you ever been deprived of something special? Have you ever waited and held your breath for a moment like the one in the movie “Mr. Holland’s Opus”?  In the movie, a school teacher’s dreams do not turn out as he had envisioned they would. However, his greatest symphony was captured by all the people’s lives he touched and at the end of the movie, during his retirement, he got to recapture the moments and meditate on his journey as each person celebrated his accomplishments.

Sometimes we wait for the moment and we are deprived of it and robbed of it. Yes, sometimes it never gets birthed. My husband and I were discussing moments in our life that we were deprived of– proms, graduations, retirement parties, wedding days, books publishers, and the list continued. As my husband and I conversed, I began to meditate on Jacob. “When morning came, there was Leah! So Jacob said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? I served you for Rachel, didn’t I? Why have you deceived me?” Genesis 29:25 NIV.

Jacob worked hard. He worked seven years for a wife. Although he was deceived and given Leah, he received Racheal the next day but had to work seven more years for her! Can you imagine making love to someone you have worked seven years for? Kissing them in the darkness and brushing your fingers against their skin and then realizing in the morning you have been tricked?

I was talking to the Lord about things I have worked hard for. People who have deceived me. He began to speak to me about Laban. Laban was family even. He was Jacob’s mother’s brother. This man deceived his own nephew on his wedding night.

I began to meditate on deceit and trouble and The Father continued to use Jacob as an example to me.

“Jacob heard that Laban’s sons were saying, “Jacob has taken everything our father owned and has gained all this wealth from what belonged to our father.” And Jacob noticed that Laban’s attitude toward him was not what it had been.” Genesis 31:1-2 NIV. They even said he had stolen his father’s glory!

This has happened to me recently. Some folks got together and discussed me and certain people’s hearts were not the same towards me. Sometimes like Jacob, be it family as Laban, business or friends, it’s just time to part ways. It doesn’t mean you don’t love or forgive or search your heart for your mistakes in the matter, but sometimes you just have to let go AND LET GOD…

“So Jacob sent word to Rachel and Leah to come out to the fields where his flocks were. He said to them, “I see that your father’s ATTITUDE TOWARD ME is not what it was before, but the God of my father has been with me. You know that I’ve worked for your father with all my strength, yet your father has cheated me by changing my wages ten times. However, God has not allowed him to harm me. If he said, ‘The speckled ones will be your wages,’ then all the flocks gave birth to speckled young; and if he said, ‘The streaked ones will be your wages,’ then all the flocks bore streaked young. So God has taken away your father’s livestock and has given them to me.” Genesis 31:4-9 NIV.

Hashem always warns his prophets and people ahead of time. He always lets them know when danger is coming. The Father revealed to me in a dream, two thieves dressed in black with masks over their faces. They were outside on my patio and they stole my umbrella. Now an umbrella is a COVERING. The next night he showed me these same two thieves and they were stealing things out of my house. They wore a mask like cowards! The Father seem to say, “They can’t take your covering. They think they can, but I am your great and mighty shield.”

I heard a lady say, these evil spirits work through people and make them think they know your innermost secrets– the condition of your soul. They make many think that God would give them the power to discover what lies under your skirts. It really is sad when you ponder it. Now my friend did not literally mean “private parts” she meant your soul and your heart condition. Sometimes we tend to think we can look under skirts; we need to stop that.

Psalm 133:1-3 KJV says,

“Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! It is like the PRECIOUS OINTMENT upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron’s beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments; As the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion: for there the LORD commanded the blessing, even life for evermore.”

This oil of unity ran down Aaron’s beard and down to his skirts and covered him. Our HaShem will cover us. No demonic forces can steal your covering. Only you can remove it and leave your Father for the life the prodigal son chose. Even then, the Father ran to meet him when he came to his senses.

Aren’t we all just trying to become more like Yeshua/Jesus? Can’t we all realize that we are in a battle? “As it is written: “There is no one righteous, not even one.” Romans 3:10 NIV. So while Laban’s heart might have changed towards Jacob and people’s hearts may have changed towards you…realize we all sin and fall short. Let us take our eyes off our brother or sisters faults and place them on ourselves and our amazing King.

Part ways if you have to, but leave the junk behind!

Rachel failed to do that.

“Now you have indeed gone away because you longed greatly for your father’s house; but why did you steal my gods?” Then Jacob replied to Laban, “Because I was afraid, for I thought that you would take your daughters from me by force. The one with whom you find your gods shall not live; in the presence of our kinsmen point out what is yours among my belongings and take it for yourself.” For Jacob did not know that Rachel had stolen them.” Genesis 31:30-32 NASB.

We must leave sometimes, but we don’t need to bring the junk from the past into our future and perhaps we even made it our god? Sometimes we make people gods. Remember, if their heart is not right towards you, it may be time to shut the door. Love, forgive, and leave the rotten stuff behind. Don’t slander, don’t call names and remember we don’t have the power to look under the skirts to know the inward parts of a man’s heart. We must let the Father do that.